I had a crappy morning today, and I must admit it was pretty much all my fault. Really. I won't belabor the details but I've got some family stuff going on and some friend stuff going on and it was really getting to me! I was having a pity party, to be honest. I was crying and feeling sorry for myself (and trying to get my husband to feel sorry for me too) because I felt in those early morning hours that nothing was really going my way and nobody loves me. We give and give, I thought, and nobody cares.
I think we all have these moments, these poor me sessions. We look at one or two situations that have jumped up into our faces, or the unpleasant phone call or text message we had to wake up to, and we think: Gosh, life sucks. It doesn't matter if that's the reality of the situation, because it's our reality. And we're going to sit in it feeling sorry for ourselves, damn the consequences (or truth)!
So here I am, feeling crappy about myself and my life and everyone and everything, and my husband wants me to go with him on the days customer run. There were a couple of people who needed our attention for one reason or another and he wanted me with him. I almost said no. But something inside of me pointed out that I was probably better off going with him. After all, it wasn't like sitting at home in my pajamas was going to do any good. And in my attitude state at the time, I wasn't going to go anywhere without him.
Thanks, Holy Spirit.
So I got dressed and put on makeup and went with him. Grouchy.
Now, at the end of the day I look back and try to imagine what God was doing during my pity party. I bet he was sitting up there, looking at me like I'm some kind of fool. "Really, kiddo?" he says, "Nobody loves you? Nothing's going right in your life? Nobody cares? Oh really?" Then, I imagine him leaning back, pointing me in the right direction (going out with my husband instead of staying at home) and saying "Watch this."
So out we went. And the whole day turned around.
As a side note, the can does actually look like this, minus the flames and flaming strawberries. Cool, right? I love it when a new product launches and getting to experience this one before we were very far into it's first week was pretty awesome. Plus, I had energy all day long even though I've had a massive energy-sapping cold for a day or two!
Then, a very dear friend of mine tells me that they've gotten new dishes and want to give away their old, very expensive ones that were a wedding present. Would I like them, she asks? Yes! So I now have new (to me) dishes that are gorgeous and high quality and have an excellent back story - way better than "They're just from Target, my husband had them when I moved in."
Which, by the way, is an answer to prayer. I've been wanting new dishes but I have very expensive tastes and I was wrestling with the conflict between my desire for new dishes that are actually ours and not just leftovers from before me, and the fact that dropping a lot of money on dishes wouldn't be very responsible right now unless we didn't have any dishes to eat off of.
Then, a project took longer than I thought it would and we ended up being late to another customer's home. We walked in and saw two plates of food on the table, and I felt so bad! We had interrupted their dinner! I started apologizing profusely for that and was about to offer that we could come back in 30 minutes. They just laughed. "We already ate," they said "This is your dinner!"
And boy, was it the best dinner I've had in a while! The guy's wife is from Germany and she made the most delicious schnitzel, plus mashed white and purple potatoes and roasted cauliflower. Then she gave us some beautiful organic berries for dessert. I was so stricken with gratitude that they'd thought of us, and the fact that we were having a longer day than anticipated, and decided to make extra dinner so we could have some.
God, not discouraged by my pity party, used today to show me just how loved and supported we really are. I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
|Not my mom, just a stock pic off Google|
REALLY out of shape.
However, my company came out with an amazing weight loss system designed around your genetic code. You've heard me talk about it before. You get the kit, send in your cheek swab, and they test it to find your genetically programmed needs.
Sort of. I am still working on self discipline, so I haven't been nearly as good about consistently doing what I need to do in this area. Getting better though!
I've been using these series of tools in conjunction. I use the diet and supplementation tools from the BodyKey weight loss system and the 4-3-2-1 workout program and - when I'm using it consistently - I've seen amazing results!
A radio host on the local Christian Alternative station was talking about weight loss yesterday and he pointed out that it's important to have big things to mark your progress because otherwise you might not see it. He was saying that he's lost 110 pounds, and there are pictures to prove the difference, but he looks himself in the mirror every morning and so he doesn't always see it. He needs those pictures to remind him that, yes, progress has been made.
I'm not at the point of literally seeing the progress yet. Because I'm so out of shape, there's a lot of internal progress that needs to be made before I can really start shedding the sizes. I have seen a small amount of difference there, but not much.
Honestly, I was starting to get discouraged. Here I am trying to find the balance between never eating pizza or pasta again and always being a fatso, and it's looking like there is none. Yesterday I posted a quote from Muhammad Ali that really gave me some morale boost:
"I hated every moment of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now, and live your life as a champion.' "
With this motivation, I decided to keep at it. Suffer now, and live my life thin!
(Disclaimer: if you don't want to be thin, that's ok. I'm not judging you. I want to be thin.)
In this spirit, I graduated my workout a little bit. On the 4-3-2-1 workout DVD I have there are 6 workouts. So far I've been sticking to workout one, for two reasons: First, the last time I tried workout 2, I felt like I was dying. My cardio could not handle it and I think I had an asthma attack. Second, my arms are way stronger than my legs. Workout one is arm- and core-focused, workout 2 is definitely leg focused. So I tried it once and had been shying away from it ever since.
Today, girded with the motivation from Muhammad Ali (I was so glad to find out that guy didn't just super love his training regimen), I gave workout 2 another shot.
And guess what? I didn't die!
I'm still out of shape, and way too out of shape to try workout 2 every day just yet. But my breathing and heart rate got to the high intensity level without going into asthma attack mode. THAT'S PROGRESS! Nevermind that my calves hate me right now and made it evident with crippling spasms throughout the workout. I can work on that and they'll be more cooperative later. I made it through. I finished the workout that last time I had to quit because I couldn't breathe.
I'm taking baby steps, fighting and uphill battle. And that's very frustrating sometimes. It's frustrating to look in the mirror and still see the out-of-shape-ness of my body, to still be kinda winded at the top of a flight of stairs, to still not be skinny enough to try on dresses at the mall. But I'm making progress, and I'm excited about that. It looks like there is a balance that can be achieved - and maybe that balance is on the side of less pizza and pasta than I'd like to get away with, but I don't have to give up my carbs completely just to make progress. Even with the small changes I've made, the small every day habits I've started to develop, there's progress.
So I'm going to start doing workout 2 every three days or so. It's exciting to add to my regular routine a workout that I couldn't even complete a month and a half ago! In no time, workout 2 will be my normal everyday workout and I'll be facing another challenge - workout 3. I'm excited to know that I'm getting healthier. And though it may be a slow, uphill, baby step climb for a while, I'm glad to be working on it because I know the glory at the top of the mountain is so worth the fight on the way up.
"Don't quit. Suffer now and live your life as a champion."